Saturday, July 20, 2013

Testing Their Wings: Letting Go Of Graduation, Its GED Time

I don't have time to get mired in regrets. There are so many things that I would go back and change now if I could. But I can't.

I raised them successfully for fourteen years, and thought I had everything all on track. It only took two years to see it all get lost. It sucks.

We all have dreams for our kids, and their current circumstances were not part of those dreams. It wasn't until this years graduation that I realized the ceremony isn't just for the graduate. Those mothers and fathers earned those caps and gowns too. They earned the right to see their children walk across that stage.

I earned that right.

In the end though, it was beyond my control.

I dropped out twice. Nobody could talk me out of it. I went back for my grandmother, because seeing my picture on that wall was important to her. She needed to see me get my diploma. So, I eventually finished the work at home (and got the best grades of my life oddly enough)

So non-traditional is sorta genetic.

I almost hate to see them go GED, but at this point we all just want it done. By the time we save the money for remedial credits the kids will be over 21.

I had a lot of plans, but the kids have their own. Justin already has a job in mind that will help him through college. He's done depending on others.

Brooke has a plan and refuses to consider anything else at this moment. She is ready to fly, and wants it done yesterday. She's done depending on others.

"Just trust me Mom." Brooke says. "I know what I am doing." After 19 years she still doesn't understand that my support and my agreement are two different things. I will always support her, though I might not necessarily agree with her.

I tried to explain that whole mom future vision thing to her. While I have been doing this long enough to know that adjustments must be made, it still isn't easy.

They are all smart kids. They'll figure it out if I give them room. As the ever wise Susan Graybeal always reminded me, our job is to give them roots and then give them wings.

Their grades were too good for this. Their CSAP scores were too. But it's time to let go of what could have been and face what is.

All I can do for Mystery is pray that her passion stays strong. That her focus remains on her future. That nobody steals her dreams...

And that she gets some amazing scholarships.

Jaid is no worry in school either. We are getting her there.
She is a tough one. They all are. They'll make it.

My mommy report card isn't looking so good at the moment.

I know, I know... it's time to let them fly.

I'm trying...


Ma and Pa said...
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Ma and Pa said...

And fly they will, but it does not mean they will not need you and Ed to direct still. Lots of new things to encounter. Just remember the STURDY stock they came from. One that does not give up, that gives all it has and has more left over to share. One that will make a way where people say it can't be done. And loves with and ever lasting love. God has a plan for your little birds. Leave it in HIS hands and watch that plan unfold. And we will all be here cheering them on! Love you.

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