It Was Just Kind Of Important To Me...

Yesterday was a tough one. We took the remotes away until chores were done. It didn't go over well...

The kids have slowly been slacking on their chores and have refused to do the yard work. My youngest, Mystery, every bit the future attorney raised an argument. She said they couldn't do the yard because they didn't have help.

They stormed off to their sisters house. 

She should know better than to challenge me.

I spent about four hours total on the yard, and by the time they returned home it was raked, all of the trash picked up, all of the tools put in their proper places, and the miscellaneous junk was moved to the back. By myself. In four hours.

With chronic pain and fatigue and plenty of resting in between. Can barely walk... but I did it.

When they got home I reminded them that perhaps in the future they will remember who their mother is. 

Ed disagrees with my method, he says by me doing the work they got out of it. I say, I still have a whole backyard that needs to be done and have now proven that one person could do it in a day. My kids know that I would never ask them to do anything I am not willing to do myself.

They say we should lead by example, and I do try. My priorities may be a little different than most. I'm not after a yard of the month award, I just want it to NOT look abandoned. I'm also not looking for a perfectly clean house where everybody is angry at one another. I just want them to pull their weight.

8 hours a day of anime on Netflix is NOT pulling their weight and they know this.


I have been asking them to help me get the yard cleaned up all summer so that Ed and I could renew our vows for our tenth anniversary. They kept putting it off and trying to get out of it and now here we are a day away and they haven't figured out why I am so upset.

They think I'm just being moody. REALLY?

Yeah, because a tenth anniversary happens every day. I can just try again next time...

I just wanted to stand in our yard and recommit to one another as a family like we did ten years ago. That was all... and they put me off until it is not going to happen. I just wanted closest family and a few friends. They kept getting lost in dresses and cakes and decorations and moving it somewhere else.

They wanted to plan the fun stuff and avoid the work. So I had to give up something I had been dreaming of for two years...

This was really important to me. I really, really wanted this. I told them that I wanted it in every way possible. But they just kept blowing me off for anime. They wanted to plan the dress and the cake and the decorations, but they didn't want to get the work done first.

I'm trying not to be sad about it because that's what teenagers do but I'm still pretty disappointed. They are lucky all of that hurt and frustration went into the yard. We talked about it last night, but they still think it is about the chores.

Sighs.

Ed says we can't afford to do anything special either. Not even a night away.

I know, I know it's just another day. No big deal. I'll survive.

It was just kind of important to me. 

Maybe We'll Get a Honeymoon Next Time?

Next week is our tenth anniversary.

I wanted to renew out vows, but that isn't going to work out for a multitude of reasons. So we though we might try to get away on a budget...

A second honeymoon would be nice. 

We never even got a first honeymoon, between exes showing up at our wedding drunk and trying to drive with kids, leaving us babysitting so they could go party some more, but not before making sure that the child was a screaming mess of abandonment issues after the good-bye. The little one screamed for several hours while the entire family tried to calm her down. We finally dropped her off at midnight and went to our lovely room that smelled of cat piss and mold and slept.

We promised we would make it up to one another some day.

It looks like we are going to have to put it off again. I've spent much of the day looking for some sort of affordable alternative but camping with fire restrictions and no camper isn't that appealing. I wouldn't mind camping but hard to do with no fire or stove. With the fire bans it has been a few years since we've been able to get up on the mountain.

We really, really, really need to get away. Somewhere, anywhere. Just not here. We are always here. We should have gone camping for Mother's Day like we had planned, but we put it off because we were too busy.

We've been too busy for ten years.

Even thinking about planning something now is just frustrating me. Even the cheapest vacations mean taking something away from the kids. The kids have all worked hard to earn tickets to Rock Jam and it is important to me too. It was the most fun we'd had together in years. The closest thing we had ever had to a vacation.

Oh well, maybe next year?

In the meantime I have to plan something... hmmm....